Forewarning: What follows are simply my own thoughts on this topic. You may disagree, and I respect that sincerely. 
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After I posted a status update on Facebook about looking for the silver lining, one friend responded that she knew I’d find one, because I’m a very positive person. Confession time: it took a while.
But now, nine days after a hospital floor caused a fall that injured the bad leg’s ankle and knee and landed me back in the wheelchair, I think I’ve found one.
I now have compiled even more evidence that the Law of Attraction works, whether we’re thinking positively or negatively. The more I think about this recent accident, the more I realize that I created the circumstances myself, and have no one to blame but me. Well, the hospital might have thought twice about waxing and buffing a marble floor, and could have made sure better handicapped parking was provided, but those are just circumstantial details. The reality was mine.
My leg, after many months since the “sheep incident”, had come a long way. I was walking, mostly … using one crutch most of the time, though I could cruise short distances without support in the house. The wheelchair had been demoted to a desk chair, or for use during those evening hours when I’d just tired the leg out so much that it had to sit down. My dad had been hospitalized an hour away, in Cooperstown (the same hospital I lived in for all of last October), and I’d been driving back and forth every day to visit with him. Since I was often carrying items, such as my bag and his belongings, I was more stable with the single crutch, for the swinging cargo would throw off my balance when using two.
The parking situation at this hospital is horrendous. They have a ton of handicapped spaces, but they’re always full, and even the closest of them is probably an eighth of a mile from the main entrance. The hospital campus is built on a mountainside, literally, so alternate parking lots are not only a hike, but a climb. One day, I actually had to hike up the hill, almost a quarter of a mile, on a crutch, with my knee (which was still weak and complaining about the abuse) throbbing, because there were no open spaces at all on the same level as the hospital.
On Monday last, after having been told he wouldn’t be released till at least the following day, the nurse’s station called back to tell me to come get him. My plans to rest my leg one day were thwarted, and I was unable, once again, to find a handicapped spot open when I finally got to Bassett. Due to where I had to park, I decided to go in the closest door rather than walk all the way down and around the outside of the building. The floor there was marble, and three steps into the lobby, my crutch slipped and I went down. We thought my ankle was fractured at first, but later x-rays revealed that the “breaks” were just shadows. I’m now in a “Bledsoe boot“, 24 x 7, and have some nasty soft tissue injuries to both the ankle on the bad leg and that poor old knee.
That was a whole bunch of “might have even been necessary” backstory leading me to the fact that I was doomed, from about mid-week the week before, to go down. My knee was continually throbbing. The single crutch, though steadier than I would have been on two, was quite wobbly. The thought, “I can’t fall, a fall would be disastrous, please don’t let me fall” would run through my brain, totally unwanted but persistent as a bulldog, with every step. It was like a mantra: don’t let me fall, don’t let me fall, don’t let….
Boom.
Of course I fell. It had to happen. Like I always joke, when the subject arises of me contracting a 1-in-100,000-odds autoimmune reaction, “I wish I had that kind of luck with the lottery” … I wish I could manifest a million bucks that easily!
The key to manifesting our thought is always tied in with emotion. I’ve talked about that many times, both here and on the older dragondreamz.wordpress.com archive site: Fear and Love, Love and Fear. In this case, the more I hiked and climbed, the more my knee hurt, and the more the fear of falling grew. It’s a very uncomfortable thing to admit that, when bad things happen, we can usually find a thought pattern as evidence behind them. The painful truth is that we’re often our own worst enemy.
I listen to many different Law of Attraction teachers, my all time favorite being Mike Dooley, of Tut.com. They, of course, focus on the positive. Why, naturally — they’re doing their darndest to help us to manifest good things, of course they focus on the positive. Focusing on the negative gets us banged up ankles and big ugly black metal and foam boots that we even have to wear to bed! However, each of them will tell you that the Law of Attraction is a double-edged sword. I guess I’m living proof of that!
So, what is the solution? Keep visualizing, try to quell the fear, examine your limiting beliefs, find love-thoughts to replace the fear-thoughts with, and dedicate that five minutes a day to making your dreams come true. Take positive action, be sure to do something every day that you would be doing if you had already achieved your goals.
No one said it would be easy. Even with all I know, I couldn’t quench those fear driven images, and I got what I created. Or, perhaps I was just so wrapped up in worry about my dad, in trying to be “careful”, that I simply wasn’t trying hard enough to over-write the fear pictures with love ones. Regardless, here I sit, another setback, wishing I didn’t have a banged up knee, because I’d love to be able to flex it enough to kick myself in the tush with my Bledsoe Boot.
Each day, from here on in, I’m doing my best to picture me on my feet, free of pain, and walking again.
And I’m still trying to figure out just what I visualized to tick off that sheep….
