I’ll be with you in apple blossom time
I’ll be with you to change your name to mine

May 8th.  My parents would have been married 66 years on this day.  From my earliest memories, they always cherished the song “Apple Blossom Time” as “their song”.  I can’t hear it, or think of it, without my heart going warm and tender, filled with both joy and sorrow.

Some day in May
I’ll come and say
Happy’s the bride
The sun shines on today

Mom passed away on November 1st, 2006.  She was my Dad’s heart and soul.  She had been failing slowly for a while, and he cared for her, tended her needs, totally dedicated to her for the last few years.  When she passed away, a huge piece of his heart went with her.

On the 26th of February, 2010, Pop joined Mom.  Or at least, with all my heart, and with all my many tears, I have prayed that my beliefs are truth, and that they are together again.  Some days, the only thing that keeps me moving forward, is my hope that they are once again happy, together, and as in love as they were for the sixty two years they were together in life.  And yet, through all my hope, I still have fear.  I’ve doubted, and I’ve been afraid to doubt, scrubbing the “what ifs” out of my mind every time they tried to creep in.  I have asked, over and over, for a sign: something unmistakable that would let me know they truly are together and happy.

What a wonderful wedding there will be
What a wonderful day for you and me

Twenty years ago, we purchased two tiny saplings, both flowering crab trees.  We planted them apart, but within sight of each other, between our two houses.  Mom and Pop’s tree died that winter, but ours has carried on.  It’s sickly, spindly, some years only has grown a few leaves, and never once has it bloomed.

And then yesterday, I stood out on the deck, our deck, Mom and Dad’s deck, and looked down toward the house we just moved out of, where my daughter is now living.  There, on the branches of that poor little flowering crab-apple tree … were blossoms.  Not just one, not just a few, but all the inner branches of the tree were graced in pastel flowers.

Church bells will chime
You will be mine
In Apple Blossom Time.

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad.  I love you and miss you with all my heart.  And thank you for my flowers; thank you for my sign.

Related posts:

1. Pascha
2. For Judy
3. Happy Birthday, Pree

It’s a quiet day, somewhat melancholy, the silence of Christmas fills my home.  Things change, they evolve, they grow, they die, and they always remain the same.  Christmas time brings that to light in the most joyful … and sorrowful … way.

All is calm, all is bright….

The Solstice has passed us and we now grow brighter.  The days will slowly become longer, and that darkest of nights is behind us.  Yet the solemn peace of that longest night travels with us into the future.  It brings quiet into our chaos, and ancient stirrings to the fast-paced modern life we lead.

Round yon virgin mother and child….

Whatever your history, your ancestry; whatever deeply ingrained, even genetic, celebration calls you at this time of year, the magic of the season cannot but stir your spirit.  It is this time of year which touches us most deeply, and no one, not even Ebenezer Scrooge, can escape it.  Whether your ancient memories follow the young Sun King as he enters the world and grows, bringing longer days and the promise of spring, or the Christ Child as he brought his own very special Light into the world, or the Festival of Lights commemorating the rebirth of God’s most Holy Temple, it matters not.  Whatever your heritage, whatever ancient stirrings touch your soul, these dark days are days of wonder.

Holy infant so tender and mild….

It has long been said that Christmas is for Children.  In my eyes, what this time of year does for us all, is rekindle the Child within.  There is nothing like a child’s sense of wonder as he peers into the darkness of these magical nights.  The anticipation, the excitement, the discovery, the mystery … it renews our youth in ways that are irresistible.  “Kids from One to Ninety Two”, whether they admit it or not, all feel the magic of the season.

Sleep in Heavenly Peace….

My wish for you this holiday season, is that you embrace that magic.  Let the holiness of this season touch your heart, like the soft snow touches the deep green boughs of the evergreen.

Sleep in Heavenly Peace….

Happy Holidays to All.

Related posts:

1. Vibration
2. Little Victories, Big Gratitudes
3. KnitWit: Sockin’ Around the Christmas Tree

I was chatting in email with a friend this morning, and the topic of “vibration” came up.  It’s had me thinking since, and as a pebble tossed into a pond spreads ripples toward the shore, those thoughts have led to this post.

Vibration.  Everything, whether it is something we think of as living, or something we think of as inanimate, has vibration.  Even the most stationary of objects is actually in continual motion.  That motion may be at a level that only the most powerful electron microscope can detect … but it’s still there.  If you examine any object, and continue to crank down your point of view until you are viewing its most base elements, you will see those little electrons whirring away, like tiny moons around a planetary body, a minute universe of their own.

Everything that moves … moves everything around it.  The energy of that motion sends out waves of contacting energies, setting its outer space rippling in response.  I’m made to think of the butterfly effect, and how a small change, or movement, can initiate waves of energy that spread outward, like those ripples on the pond, and effect untold numbers of possible events half a world away.

What initiated the ponderings that have led to this post, though, is not so much how small vibrations can effect distant events … but how each object resonates with those around it.  Vibrations occur at various frequencies, and the norm is that adjacent objects, or spirits, or souls, or energies, have a tendency to vibrate on similar frequencies.  When an object  is not vibrating in harmony with the space around it, it is considered to be in discord.  Think of playing a chord on a guitar or piano, and pressing a wrong fret, or hitting a wrong  note:  discord.  It makes one’s teeth ache.  It’s rather like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, vibrationally speaking.

We have all, at some point in our lives (sometimes over and over again), felt like we weren’t quite “fitting in”.  Whether we are talking about the child who doesn’t seem to jive with any school-population cliques, or simply that over-all feeling of unrest, or dis-ease, that we can’t quite put a finger on, we are all familiar with the feeling.

Today, I’ve found myself wondering about this, and how that sense of dis-ease may relate to vibration.  Everything around us is vibrating at a certain frequency.  That frequency is affected by adjacent vibrations, which are affected by those a level out, all resonating in relative harmony as one tuning fork sets the next humming.  Then, here we are, sitting in the middle of it all, and we are drumming out a hard rock beat while everything else is humming along with Beethoven.  We are, vibrationally, in the wrong place at the wrong time.  We are trying to fit our square peg selves into the round hole of the space around us.

It makes our teeth ache.

What can we do about it?  It certainly will be extremely stressful to try to force our way through the current like this.  The air around us will grate against our spirits, like trying to navigate the torrents in a blender.  We could examine the vibrations around us, I suppose, and try to make ourselves conform.  But if we are in a space where our unique vibration is necessary to us, despite the fact that its not resonating with the universe around us … would changing our vibration be a cop-out?

We might also try to change the vibrations in our own space so that we feel more comfortable.  Although it’s impossible, I believe, to do this without at least minimally sending that change outward and affecting others, if it’s done gently and with good intent, that affect might be steered toward a beneficial one.   Changing the aura of our surroundings can be as simple as playing music that feels good to us at the moment, or as complicated as moving to a totally new location.  The key is to listen to our inner critic, find the thing that feels right, that soothes us, that makes us feel like we are a better fit, and take action on it.  Changing decor, collecting images that feel peaceful, or simply spending time in meditation upon things that bring us joy, are all things we can do to change the vibrations around us.

Or, the third option, is of course to meet the first two in the middle.  Compromise.  If we use our emotions as guides, we can make some minor tweaks in our own vibrational energies at the same time that we change the energies around us, to find a space that feels more comfortable.

I look around me at the situation our world is currently in, with both waves of great hope, and ripples of terrible fear.  I observe the vast numbers of people who are suffering from depression, from mental instability, from deep worries.  Our world is going through some intense changes … some good, many not so good at all.  Any change is movement, and any movement generates vibration.  Is our human response to that vibrational change part of what is causing these various ills?

By changing our own vibrations, or by reaching out to our own personal space with intentions of peace, joy, love, and harmony, can we create a ripple?  Can we become the butterflies that will eventually cause a global response that will counter-act all of the negative we are seeing in the media around the world?

I don’t know, but it certainly can’t hurt to try.  At the very least, it may affect our own small place in space so that we feel better about the tune we are humming.  We may not fit in on a global scale, those of us who dance to a different melody … but at least we will feel more like we fit in our own skins, with the potential of lightening the energies which immediately surround us.

Related posts:

1. Worship, A Way Of Life
2. Little Victories, Big Gratitudes
3. Better Than Ever? (Law of Attraction)

Unlucky thirteen.  Triskaidekaphobia.  Thirteen witches in a coven.  No thirteenth floor in a hotel.

Isn’t it interesting how the fear of a simple number seems to have infiltrated our society?  Most of us, when we hear these things, think they’re silly, at least on the outside.  How many of us, however, don’t at least stop for a moment … and think … when faced with the number thirteen.  So, when you think, you laugh at yourself for the thinking.  But you do think about it, don’t you?

Of course, the number thirteen does not have all negative connotations, but human beings have been stopping to think when faced with this number for literally thousands of years.

Some interesting tidbits about thirteen….

• Yes, there are thirteen witches in a traditional coven.
• And, of course, Christ’s thirteenth disciple was the traitor Judas.
• Did you know that the thirteenth god in the Norse pantheon is Loki … the trouble making lord of chaos?

And of course, good old Friday the 13th is considered in western society to be an unlucky day.  This tradition is reported to stem from the fact that the church ordered the imprisonment of the Knights Templar on that day.  In other societies, however, it’s said that Tuesday the 13th holds the reins of this superstition.

Some sources state that in northern Europe, before the spread of Christianity, the number thirteen and Friday the 13th were actually good omens.

Whatever one thinks of Friday and 13, however, there is no arguing that we humans are a superstitious species.  Perhaps this is because, for some strange reason, we absolutely love to be scared.  At least, we love being scared of things that really, when examined logically, can’t hurt us under normal circumstances.  Whether it is horror movies, ghost stories, roller coasters, or millennia-old superstitions which we’ve passed down like precious heirlooms, we humans love the adrenaline rush of fear.

This Friday the 13th of November, 2009, finds me wondering about that odd habit of ours.  Are humans the only species which actually seeks out opportunities to be frightened out of our wits?  And whether the answer to that is yes or no … why?

I have a habit, some say a bad one, of looking way back into our genetic history and thinking about the days when we were strictly a tribal species, or a people of hunter-gatherers.  Though humans have been semi-predators for much of our history, for a good portion of that history we were also prey.

I think of cats.

(Naturally, some are saying, she always thinks of cats….)

Cats are an extremely instinctive species, yet they practice their hunting.  They start teaching their kittens to play at predatory behavior as soon as the kittens are able to get on their feet and wobble about.  It’s as instinctive for a cat to practice hunting (what, you didn’t think batting a balled up sheet of aluminum foil underneath the stove was instinctive behavior?) as it is for them to hunt.

Is that why we humans love scaring ourselves silly?

Although we are still preyed upon in our society, we are not now, technically, prey animals.  We no longer, for the most part, have to worry about being jumped by a tiger if we stray too far from the safety of the village.  We may have to worry about those aberrant people who turn their predatory instincts on their own species … but it’s no longer a natural part of our existence.

Our ancestors had to fear.  Fear was an instinctive act of self preservation.  If a person wandered into the forest to gather berries without their fear instincts sharp and listening for danger, they were likely to become someone’s lunch.

For as long as there have been people, there have been people who practice fear as a pastime.  The embracing of superstitions is one way this has been done since the earliest days of recorded history.  We told our children about the tiger in the woods as much to see their reaction as to teach them about the dangers.  Ghostly tales and bogey-men are part of every culture.  Religious belief systems all include the macabre, the bizarre, and the terrifying … whether or not these things are true, or simply stories human beings have invented in order to explain their existence and environments, however, is a topic for another discussion.

Do we practice fear to keep our prey-animal reflexes sharp?

Regardless … we humans love to be scared.  When we find something creepy enough to pass on to a new generation, we hold on to it tenaciously, enjoying the look of fear in the eyes of our children … or the eyes  in the mirror (Bloody Mary, anyone?).

Friday the Thirteenth has long been one of our favorite eerie thrills.

So … maybe this was about the movie, after all.

Related posts:

1. Halloween: Day of the Dead, or Just a Day of Fun?

"Here, Kitty Kitty. Mwwaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaa....."

Halloween: what we in the west know as a fun holiday, where kids get dressed up and beg for candy from their neighbors, actually began approximately 2,000 years ago in the Celtic cultures of northern Europe and the British Isles.  The Celts believed that on this day, which they referred to as Samhain (pronounced sow’ in), the veil between the worlds of the living and the dead thinned, and those on the other side could easily cross through to this one (and vice versa).  In order to honor, and sometimes appease, the dead, people would dress in costume and perform various rituals.  These included setting a plate for passed loved ones at the table, wandering through the village with lanterns that cast protective light, and practicing the divination arts.  The dead would be asked for help with such issues as successful crops and hunting in the following year, protection from disease, and healthy births.

Many people today continue to believe in this parting of the veils, and easy connection with spirits, on this day.  In fact, All Soul’s Day, practiced by certain Christian denominations, is November 1st … which many believe to be an extension of the Pagan celebration of Samhain.

Despite what some might consider dark origins, however, Halloween in our western societies has become a holiday for fun.  Many people cite it as their favorite, some even choosing Halloween over Christmas.  It is a time of warm childhood memories, social gatherings, harmless (hopefully) mischief and the ability to take imagination to a new level and, quite literally, parade it up and down the street.  It is a time when we normally reserved humans let go and allow fear to be fun.  If one examines the popularity of haunted house events, the increase in horror movie rentals, and the over all rise in the fascination with the macabre at this time of year, there is no doubt that people enjoy the adrenaline rush of being scared.  Halloween is the day many people take that thrill to the heights of scary celebration.

Occasionally we will find the hoodlums who use the excuse to celebrate fear as one of harmful mischief.  Parents today don’t let their kids eat Halloween candy until it’s been thoroughly inspected.  However, even these necessary precautions don’t spoil the fun of the event for most of us.

And for some, though they may be in the minority, Halloween is a time of  respectful contemplation, and still, after two millennia, a day for honoring the dead.  It seems the older we get, the more dead we have to honor on this day, and the quieter our Halloweens become.

However you celebrate your Halloween, I wish you joyful memories, I wish you safe travels, and I wish you fun.

Sites of Interest:

• Halloween, Ancient Origins
• All Soul’s Day
• Happy, Happy, Happy Halloween at Positively Present
• Some Delightful Halloween Images from Ricka

Related Posts

• Challenge Game #3, Here Kitty Kitty

About the photo: This is not a scraggly, scary black cat.  It’s my Dad’s beautiful kitty, Missy.  I just happened to catch her in a head-shake.  Never thought I’d get the chance to use this photo, till today….

Related posts:

1. The Valentine’s Day Mystery
2. A Quiet Christmas Eve
3. Happy Birthday, Pree

Well, perhaps not “completely”, as the topic does tie in to one of my old favorites: the law of attraction.  It’s often said that, in order to manifest the life of our dreams, we must take small steps toward that life.  We must do little things as if we already have manifested our goals.  Common analogies are cleaning out the junk side of the garage to make room for the second car, or dressing each morning as if you were heading in to the office of your hopes while looking for a new job.

Likewise, when the life you are believing for is one of greater financial abundance, or simply freedom from financial worries, it’s empowering to find little ways that you can live as if you have lots of money.  One thing people who have lots of money do, is to keep track of it, and to pay their bills on time.

Oh, that was two things, wasn’t it?

Regardless….

Are you familiar with the collection agent scenario?  With frequently seeing late charges on your monthly bill statements?  With having to choose between feeding your kids and paying the phone bill?

I can certainly relate to all of the above.  About a year ago, not long after I came home from the hospital, I decided to see money, and bills, in a different light.  I made up my mind that, instead of looking at bill paying as a burden, and something I could never quite catch up with, I would look at it as a privilege … and be thankful, when I paid a bill, that I had the money to pay it.

I also took a free online basic budgeting course, written by Grandpa Terry of Home Money Help.  There are a lot of “money help” scams out there, and yes, Grandpa Terry does sell a premium edition of his course, but trust me that this particular free course has no actual strings attached and it can be very helpful.  The course helped me with a number of things but most importantly, it introduced the concept that one could develop a simple method of organizing bills.

Still, however, the course as taught didn’t quite do the trick for me.  My own lifestyle, and ways of thinking, weren’t quite in line with the details, so I adapted pretty much everything to suit my needs.  I created a binder, with plastic pocket dividers, one for each bill, and a front pocket for bills that were due.  I set up a monthly chart of what was owed on what date to whom.  I diligently applied myself to keeping things organized….

And still had way too much month at the end of the money.

It was in December of last year, after just managing to scrape a Christmas out of the pickings, that it dawned on me that the concept of “baby steps” and “doing little things toward your goals” could be applied to paying bills, too.  I know I’m certainly not the first person to come up with this method, but it’s worked well so far, and I’ve had a number of friends suggest I write it out for others to try. So, here I am.

In our family, I would pay certain bills each month, and my hubby would pay the others.  I took the bills that I paid monthly, and developed a system whereby I was paying a quarter of the monthly installment every week.  This allowed me to see exactly where the money was going, it allowed me to keep much more precise track of things, and most importantly … it allowed me to make good use of the fact that some months have five weeks!

I started out, with most of these bills, with back balances owed and putting a chunk toward late charges.  Within about four months, I not only had them all caught up … but I was paying ahead on several.  Do you know how good it feels when your cellphone company owes you money by the time the new statement is ready to pay?

The method worked so well, in fact, that I found I actually had money left at the end of the month … and was able to take on a few more of the regular bills!

After a while, seeing the success of the method on the bills I handled, my hubby turned over the rest of the bill paying to me, and I plugged everything in to my little week at a time method.  In under three months, several bills were caught up, and we were paying nice chunks on the back balances of others.  Most of our creditors are slightly confused, but pleased, and of the mind that “if it works, don’t fix it”.  We’re also getting fewer calls asking where our payments are.   That feels pretty nice.

I’m fairly confident that, by the middle of 2010, our credit rating will be on track, and we’ll be in a position where we don’t owe anyone any back balances.  We will have reduced our financial worry significantly … one of my own visualization hopes realized.

The Method

It’s easy, it really is.  All you have to do is gather your monthly expenses, divide each by four, and keep simple records of what you’re paying when, to whom.  Keep track of your due dates, and if any are really sitting in the wrong place to make your plan work quickly, try having the date changed to fit in better with the process.  I have a chart that I print out, with columns for five weeks, and columns for the creditor information, totals, etc.  I duplicate the records in my checkbook register, as well.

Most creditors now allow you to pay your bills online, and have no restrictions on how many payments you can make each month.  Occasionally you’ll come up against a company which will not let you do what you’re trying to do … either there is no online method of payment (it’s pretty comical that one of the few bills I pay that I cannot pay online is my Internet bill) or they put restrictions on how much you can pay them (one of our regulars, for example, has recently applied a limit to payments so you cannot pay more than three times the balance at a time.  This doesn’t sound like a problem, but when you’ve got your quarterly payment set to, for instance, $20.00 and your balance owed is down to $4.00, they won’t let you make your full installment).

For bills that are a problem in one of those ways, we simply “hide” a quarter of the balance per week by marking it as “SA” (Set Aside) in the check book register, and we then “re-deposit” it when the bill is due.  The money hasn’t actually gone anywhere, we’ve just taken it out of circulation until the bill is due.

To make it easier for anyone who wishes to follow the method, I’ve uploaded a blank form, in PDF format, with instructions, that you can download here:

Blank Weekly Bill Organizer

It’s not pretty, and not fancy, and you can probably come up with something better yourself … but it’ll give you a visual idea of how things work, if you would like to give the “More Money At The End Of The Month” plan a try.  What I do is print this out, one copy each month, and fill it in as the instructions describe.

Why It Works

When you pay your bills monthly, unless you’re a meticulous budgeter, you are getting to them with whatever is left after daily expenses take their toll … such as groceries and unexpected needs.  When you pay a quarter of a monthly payment each week, or set aside that money toward the monthly due date, you are in better control of your funds.  One would think it means you have less for groceries, less for clothing, less for sudden medical expenses….  It doesn’t work out that way, though; at least it hasn’t for us.  To the contrary, it seems like we have more money for day to day expenses, in addition to the peace of mind of knowing the bills are paid, simply because we’re keeping weekly track of everything.

In addition, you have that magical little “Fifth Week” some months, where you actually get in an extra payment.  This helps you to catch up back balances, and get ahead on other bills.  It helps you knock down the credit card debt a little faster, and store up a bit of buffer against future setbacks.

I’m certainly no financial expert; far from it.  I know this method won’t work for everyone.  It’s just something that has helped our family relieve some of our financial worries.  Several people have been suggesting I share the method for a while now, so I do hope someone out there finds it helpful.

I also discovered a bonus.  Now, I haven’t 100% verified this, but it’s been told to me by several people who are much more finance savvy than I:  If you make extra payments each month, even if the total adds up to what you normally owe, those extra payments are considered “voluntary”, and they help your credit rating.

Links of Interest

Grandpa Terry’s free budget course online: http://www.homemoneyhelp.com/

Related posts:

1. Joy Journal, by Velma “The Queen Of Joy” Gallant
2. Infinite Possibilities — New book from Mike Dooley

It turned out (it usually does, doesn’t it?) that I was letting myself grow anxious for nothing.  Oh, I suppose, when my leg and health are considered, the concerns were somewhat valid, but the leg held up, I never did have to return to the wheelchair (other than that I parked it at my reading table to sit in), and my hubby even bought me a good four-footed cane to help me keep my balance.  Today, I’m sore, but not terribly so, and still walking.

Check-mark in the “success” column!

We had a really nice day at the Community Spiritualist Chapel and Spirit-Path Center.  We didn’t have the huge crowds we thought we might, but people came through in spurts, enough to keep the readers busy a good portion of the day.  I did a nice sized handful of animal communication readings, and got to know some new animal friends and their humans.  I also had a couple of long time clients come to visit, so was able to renew old connections as well.

In addition to the five psychic readers who participated in the fair, we also had two skilled spiritual healers.  Reverend Shirley is one of our regulars, and a wonderful healer.  It was such a pleasure to be able to “sit in her chair” again.  I also received a healing session from Allegre, a new acquaintance and friend, who does a very interesting healing modality using crystals and a hologram structure.  I found it fascinating … not to mention so relaxing I thought for a moment that I might fall asleep!  Very nice, and I’m sure that healing energy is all still working its wonder on my physical and spiritual self.

I found it very interesting that, at this event, I did more sessions with crossed-over pets than living.  I wonder if it was “the nature of the crowd”.  Many people who come in to CSC have been to their séances, etc, after all … perhaps people go to psychic fairs hoping to hear from their departed loved ones, and therefore have the same expectations for their non-human friends and family as well.

This was actually a good thing.  This might sound odd, but I think, of all the ways I’m able to help animals and their humans, connecting with the departed is the most fulfilling thing I do.  There is something very special about seeing the relief, the easing of grief, and the gratitude in the eyes of a person who is deeply missing their departed pet.  I find that the ability to ease someone’s pain, if even just a little bit, in such an immediate manner, is a true blessing to my life, and an affirmation of what I do.

After the Psychic Fair proper, we had a séance in the evening.  There was quite a crowd there; we had to bring extra chairs into the séance room, and the circle pressed right up to the circumference limits of the room.  It was a very nice event,  and everyone there received a message.  I hope everybody went home having heard from someone who touched their hearts, and brought them a smile to carry forth into the upcoming week.

It’s been such a long time since I sat in on a circle like that, but I guess it’s kind of like riding a bike.  Even though I only received two messages, they seemed to bring happiness, and wisdom, through from the other side for the intended.  Helping … that is what it’s all about, isn’t it?

I guess some people may not look at the work of a psychic as being a helping, and even a healing, service.  It is, though … and it was a privilege to have helped quite a few people, and their animal friends, yesterday.

All told, a really nice day, and I survived it quite well!

Visit Spirit-Path Center and the Community Spirtualist Chapel at http://www.spirit-path.com.

Related posts:

1. New Challenge Game Coming, and Psychic Fair
2. Creature Thoughts: July 2010

The little things we so often simply take for granted can, with one bizarre turn of fate, become major issues.  Things like walking, sleeping comfortably, being able to do the things we used to complain about (like weeding gardens and cleaning the house)….  It doesn’t take much to make one do a double-take and realize how important the seemingly unimportant details can really be.

Like being able to get up off the floor.

I did it today.  Most people would say, “So what, I do that all the time”, but this is something I haven’t been able to do for over a year, not without help.  I can recall a fall earlier this year: I went down hard in the kitchen and it took my husband and my son to get me back into the wheel chair.  I was so weak, and still in such pain from the healing leg, that there was no way I’d have gotten myself up.

But today, I finally swallowed a silly fear, got down on the floor and did some Feldenkrais exercises, and got up again.  All by myself.  Well, I had to scootch my chubby butt over to the side of the bed and use the frame for leverage, but I still did it by myself.

It’s amazing the opportunities that have now opened up for me.  I can do more of the Feldenkrais therapy that has, in past situations, been such a help to the healing of my body.  I can even start morphing that into, and incorporating, some of the yoga that I’ve thought for some time would be helpful.  I can start to gradually and gently strengthen my poor abused muscles so that more and more possibilities of movement and freedom (like being able to walk without worrying about toppling over!) can open up.

I’m so incredibly thankful!  Yes, it’s a tiny thing, something most human beings do every single day of their lives without even thinking about it.  For me, however, it’s a majorly wonderful big deal!

I got up off the floor!

If you’ve seen or read “The Secret”, or if you’ve followed my post here about Velma Gallant’s Joy Journal, you’ll know that I see gratitude as something much more than a word.  I can remember being asked, as a child, “What’s the magic word?” and the answer the adults were expecting was, of course, “Please”.  “Please”, certainly, is important to one’s life, but the real “magic word” for me is “Thank You”.  Well, I guess that’s two words, isn’t it?  But you get the picture.

Long ago, someone said to me that if you’re not grateful for what you have, how can you possibly have room to receive more?  There are certain phrases and tidbits of wisdom we pick up as we wander through life that stick with us, and that is certainly one of my favorites.  I’ve pulled it out of my memory attic many times, to remind me that being grateful is not just a nice thing to do, it’s an act of magic that can bring better things into my life, and the lives of those I love.

In “The Secret”, in the segment on gratitude, they discuss the gratitude stone.  I still have mine, a little piece of pale periwinkle agate that sits on my desk.  I don’t really use it all that often, as I have other tricks (such as Joy Journals and Morning Pages) that remind me to start my day with gratitude.  Some days, there are little bits of thanks that help me to get a positive focus on the day. Other days there are monster-sized ones.

Tomorrow, what would probably seem like a little bit to others is a monster Thank You for me.

I know that, by focusing on today’s accomplishments with thanks, I’ll take even bigger and better strides forward in the future.  I’ll walk more, walk stronger, then dance, then run.  I’ll take strolls down the lane with my dog, and visit the rescue farm more often.  I’ll get back to my horse-pal Zeus sooner or later, too, and continue the games we started together several years ago.  I can hold all these things in my mind today with more confidence, and a greater sense of being thankful for what is true, even if it hasn’t manifested quite yet.

And all because I got up off the floor.

Related Posts:

• Velma Gallant’s Joy Journal
• What I’m Reading: The Artist’s Way

Sites of Interest

• Feldenkrais.com
• Yoga Journal
• Velma Gallant’s Website

Related posts:

1. Joy Journal, by Velma “The Queen Of Joy” Gallant
2. Vibration
3. The Heart’s A Muscle, Too

Neewwwwp.  I spelled, or initialed, anyway, it right.  RAOKA.  It stands for:

Random Acts of Kick-Arse

Sami, a super blogger over at Life, Laughs and Lemmings (I kid you not), came up with this great idea, you see.  She’s setting up a network of other bloggers who will perform Random Acts of Kick-Arse, which essentially means doing nice things for others as a part of living the life of one’s dreams.  I’m seriously considering joining the team, but at the very least, I’ll be following everyone’s antics and doing the cheer-leader thing.

But, although I want everyone to click the link above, the links below, subscribe to the feeds of these bloggers, and follow along as the love is spread around the world, that’s not really what this post is about.  Well, it is, but it’s not.  Well… um….  You’ll see.

The Robins, er, Starlings part

Everyone who’s read this blog for the past year, by now, has become sick of hearing about stuff like pyoderma gangrenosum and wheelchairs and … stuff.  (Okay, I’m not exactly grammatically in-tune this morning, sorry.)  On reading between the lines, everyone’s probably also surmised that I don’t always jump out of bed miss Suzie Sunshine every morning.  I wake up hurting quite frequently, and even though I’m doing morning pages and my joy-journal every day, religiously, before I get out of bed, I still often roll out to face the day with pain in my back pocket.  I try to hold back the frustration, but it’s sometimes hard.

However, once I get out into the kitchen to take care of my pets’ morning needs, everything changes.  I find myself smiling, whistling and singing despite myself.  You see, I have two little pals out there who make sure I start every day with laughter.

Their names are Stars and Stripes.

Our Starlings, Stars and Stripes, as young juveniles

I am, though for obvious reasons I haven’t been very active in the task this year, a wildlife rehabilitator.  Last year, long before the sheep hit the fan, on July 4th, these two tiny baby starlings (though we weren’t sure of their species at the time, it took some extensive internet searching to make that definite) were brought in to the center I volunteer with (NY Wildlife Rescue Center).  I brought them home, fed them every twenty minutes all day every day, and as they were right at the prime age for impressing upon their caretaker … I became a parent.

Although Stars and Stripes recovered from their injuries, they grew completely human-dependent, and could not be released.  Fortunately, in most states in the U.S. (though not all, check your regulations before even thinking about such things), it’s legal to keep a starling in captivity.  These are not native birds, but imports from the U.K., which have spread in great masses across the Americas, and are now considered (gasp) pests.

I have come to realize that there is no cooler bird on earth.

My little ones, who refer to themselves as the “babies”, perform Random Acts of Kick-Arse for me all day long, and start my day out with a barrage of:

Who’s a pretty bird? Who’s a pretty baby? Here, kitty kitty kitty! Come here!  Who’s here?  Who’s a bird, is he pretty? Yeahhhhh.

And on and on and on….  And no, it’s not me talking to the birds that I’m quoting … well, I do ANSWER them when they talk to me.  Starlings Speak.

Yes, English (or whatever human language their … flock … speaks).

Starlings are known in their native countries as “The Poor Man’s Mynah”, for a very good reason.  These birds are phenomenal mimics (and ventriloquists, they fool me every time with their voice-thrown blue jay imitation.  I’ll run to the window to see the blue jays at the feeder only to realize that the stars have snagged me again.)

Stars and Stripes don’t just mimic … they so often seem to understand what they’re saying, and respond appropriately, that it’s uncanny.  They will floor us with full sentences that they’ve never said before.  Sometimes they’ll pick those phrases up as part of their permanent vocabulary, other times they say it once and we don’t hear it again.

For example, not long ago one of them asked their typical, “Who’s a pretty bird?” and when I replied, “My babies are pretty birds,” he asked, “Do you love us?”

I’ve been waiting to hear that one again, and encouraging it, but to date, it was a one-hit-wonder.

The other day, my son was helping feed beasties in the afternoon, and he let the dog in after his constitutional.  Kai trotted past the cage, and one of the starlings asked, “Who’s here?” Devon answered, “It’s the puppy,” and the bird asked, “Can I see him?”

And yes, Devon brought the dog to the cage for the birds, who hopped down to Kai’s level and greeted him nose to nose.  (They also do this with the cat.  Another good reason they’re unreleasable. ::cough::)

My little RAOKA’n Starlings.  They bring me joy, they brighten my days, they give me reasons to laugh even when I’m in a rather un-laughing kind of mood.  I truly believe that Stars and Stripes were brought into my life to make sure I survived the past year.

Not only have I survived, in a large part thanks to them … I’ve thrived.

It’s amazing what we can learn from our animal friends.  Two funny little birds, giving back so much more than they were given, and never giving their joy a second thought.

And yeah.  I think I will sign up with the RAOKA team, if the roster isn’t already full!

[Footnote: Sadly, though "pests" in the States, in their native United Kingdom, starlings, along with english sparrows, are now so endangered that they have been put on the "red list" of endangered species.  Look kindly toward these little "pests" next time you see them ... we may be their last stronghold!]

Sites of Interest:

• Lori’s RAOKA introduction at Jane-Be-Nimble
• Sami’s RAOKA introduction at Life, Laughs and Lemmings
• Lance’s Jungle of Life
• Melissa’s Operation Nice
• Dani’s Positively Present
• Brandi’s Joy Rebellion

Related Posts:

• Joy-Journal by Velma Gallant
• The Artist’s Way

Related posts:

1. RAOKA (Random Acts of Kick Arse), October
2. My Starlings Talking
3. RAOKA for December: Wacky

Reflections....

Those of us who do animal rescue get to see the darkest side of human nature … or at least one of the darkest sides.  It’s easy, if one has been exposed to hoarders and abusers long enough, to become jaded regarding the nature of our fellow humans.

For some, it takes effort to find what is good about humanity.  I’m glad, as much as I love and dedicate my life to the welfare of my animal friends, that I’m not one of those people who will never trust human beings again.  As we keep our hearts and minds open to the brightness that can shine forth from our fellow human-suit wearers, we don’t have to search for the good.  It will find us.

Josh Hanagarne is the World’s Strongest Librarian.  You may have seen a guest post that Josh wrote here on Gazehound.com recently.  Josh is one of those humans who attracts the good of others.  He’s bright, witty, and always has an encouraging word for the visitors who leave comments on his blog.  Today, Josh posted a question which has inspired more inner-searching and deep thought for me than any other I’ve heard (or read) for many years.

You see, Josh is challenged every day of his life by something that most of us only know of due to what we’ve seen on television.  In addition to all of the other adventures we humans have to overcome in life, Josh has Tourette’s tossed into the works.  Today, he wrote an incredibly thought-filled blog post about how, despite the problems Tourette’s causes in his life, he wouldn’t change his past experience.  He then asked his readers if, remembering the worst thing that has happened to them in life, they would change their past if they could.

As of the writing of this post, quite a few hours later, not a single person responding has said that yes, they’d change the experience.

I find that absolutely phenomenal.

Nine people had commented as of the time I wrote this post, and all of them would keep things just the way they are.  Most have stated that, despite the pain and heartbreak they may have endured, they find themselves stronger people for having gone through it.  I bow to each of these blog commentators, and honor their courage.  Some of these people have gone through experiences that, from my place in space, I don’t know if I would survive.  Incredible hardship and pain has touched their lives.  And yet, none of them would have it any different.

The human spirit at it’s best.

Josh’s post had me thinking long and hard about my own experiences over the past few years.  Those who know me best can give you a list of challenges, not the least being my battle with pyoderma gangrenosum and its subsequent side-journeys.  There are days I wake up so angry that I’m still in physical pain, that I embarrass myself with the whining.  There are days of incredible hope and determination to push forward and finally reach my much-desired return to health.  There are also days, plenty of them, that I simply don’t want to even try to get out of bed.

And yet, despite it all, when I thought long and hard about Josh’s question, I realized that I, too, would not change the past.  The thought of never having experienced this physical mess and all of the problems it’s caused is tempting.  Yet, all the same, it’s an experience I wouldn’t trade.

Oh, I still look forward to the day I can walk freely, easily, painlessly; the day I can put my dog on a leash and take a nice stroll down the lane; the day I can once again dance with my legs as well as my heart.  But I wouldn’t change the path traveled to bring me to this place in my journey.

I look at the experiences behind me, and ask what the lesson is.  As I mentioned in my comment to Josh’s post (please forgive the typos if you read it … I was so emotionally engaged that my usual inner grammar-check process did not engage before I clicked ‘submit’), there are many possible reasons behind what I’ve gone through.  I referred to them as the “Infinite Maybes”.  Maybe I might help someone else somehow.  Maybe I can be an example of healing.  Maybe, maybe, maybe….

Just as there are Infinite Possibilities ahead of us (thank you, Mike Dooley), there are Infinite Maybes surrounding us all the time.  When we don’t know the reasons why, we need to simply trust that they are good ones, even if we may never find out their natures.  We can entertain our spirits, and infuse our courage, with the Infinite Maybes, but we can’t go back and change the choices our higher selves have made.

And most of us, it seems, would not change them if we could.

Related posts:

1. Infinite Possibilities — New book from Mike Dooley
2. Negative Influence, Responsibility for You
3. Vibration