Reflections....
Those of us who do animal rescue get to see the darkest side of human nature … or at least one of the darkest sides. It’s easy, if one has been exposed to hoarders and abusers long enough, to become jaded regarding the nature of our fellow humans.
For some, it takes effort to find what is good about humanity. I’m glad, as much as I love and dedicate my life to the welfare of my animal friends, that I’m not one of those people who will never trust human beings again. As we keep our hearts and minds open to the brightness that can shine forth from our fellow human-suit wearers, we don’t have to search for the good. It will find us.
Josh Hanagarne is the World’s Strongest Librarian. You may have seen a guest post that Josh wrote here on Gazehound.com recently. Josh is one of those humans who attracts the good of others. He’s bright, witty, and always has an encouraging word for the visitors who leave comments on his blog. Today, Josh posted a question which has inspired more inner-searching and deep thought for me than any other I’ve heard (or read) for many years.
You see, Josh is challenged every day of his life by something that most of us only know of due to what we’ve seen on television. In addition to all of the other adventures we humans have to overcome in life, Josh has Tourette’s tossed into the works. Today, he wrote an incredibly thought-filled blog post about how, despite the problems Tourette’s causes in his life, he wouldn’t change his past experience. He then asked his readers if, remembering the worst thing that has happened to them in life, they would change their past if they could.
As of the writing of this post, quite a few hours later, not a single person responding has said that yes, they’d change the experience.
I find that absolutely phenomenal.
Nine people had commented as of the time I wrote this post, and all of them would keep things just the way they are. Most have stated that, despite the pain and heartbreak they may have endured, they find themselves stronger people for having gone through it. I bow to each of these blog commentators, and honor their courage. Some of these people have gone through experiences that, from my place in space, I don’t know if I would survive. Incredible hardship and pain has touched their lives. And yet, none of them would have it any different.
The human spirit at it’s best.
Josh’s post had me thinking long and hard about my own experiences over the past few years. Those who know me best can give you a list of challenges, not the least being my battle with pyoderma gangrenosum and its subsequent side-journeys. There are days I wake up so angry that I’m still in physical pain, that I embarrass myself with the whining. There are days of incredible hope and determination to push forward and finally reach my much-desired return to health. There are also days, plenty of them, that I simply don’t want to even try to get out of bed.
And yet, despite it all, when I thought long and hard about Josh’s question, I realized that I, too, would not change the past. The thought of never having experienced this physical mess and all of the problems it’s caused is tempting. Yet, all the same, it’s an experience I wouldn’t trade.
Oh, I still look forward to the day I can walk freely, easily, painlessly; the day I can put my dog on a leash and take a nice stroll down the lane; the day I can once again dance with my legs as well as my heart. But I wouldn’t change the path traveled to bring me to this place in my journey.
I look at the experiences behind me, and ask what the lesson is. As I mentioned in my comment to Josh’s post (please forgive the typos if you read it … I was so emotionally engaged that my usual inner grammar-check process did not engage before I clicked ‘submit’), there are many possible reasons behind what I’ve gone through. I referred to them as the “Infinite Maybes”. Maybe I might help someone else somehow. Maybe I can be an example of healing. Maybe, maybe, maybe….
Just as there are Infinite Possibilities ahead of us (thank you, Mike Dooley), there are Infinite Maybes surrounding us all the time. When we don’t know the reasons why, we need to simply trust that they are good ones, even if we may never find out their natures. We can entertain our spirits, and infuse our courage, with the Infinite Maybes, but we can’t go back and change the choices our higher selves have made.
And most of us, it seems, would not change them if we could.
