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No man can change another man’s heart.
So often, as we move happily through life, creating our dreams and making them real, we run up against other people who are simply drowning in negativity. Everything must have the worst possible cause, the worst possible outcome, and they simply can’t comprehend that they can, in fact, change their own circumstances.
Sometimes we even live with these people, and are exposed to them day after day.
We feel, when this is the case, that it drags us down. We share our realities with them. Their negative thoughts draw to them, and into our own circle of space, negative results. It becomes difficult to get ahead, to create the life of our dreams, when the person sitting next to us, who shares roof and walls, is pulling our space in the opposite direction.
This is a frequent topic, and plea for help, that is posted on forums and in chat rooms where people who believe in the Law of Attraction gather. “I believe I can, but my husband/wife/dad/brother/daughter… ”
It’s a problem, for sure, and sometimes, when things are most trying, it seems like it is a problem without a solution.
It is at times like this that the concept of each man being an island can help. There are those, in fact, who are so deeply into this belief, that they sincerely feel that all other people in their lives are simply manifestations of their own creation. While this may be extreme, and not everyone holds to the thought, taking an aspect of this idea to heart can help to get us through the worry that the influence of others’ negativity will hurt our own creation.
That aspect is: the only person we are truly responsible for is ourselves.
When we really allow this idea to sink in, we come to see that we can, in fact, choose happiness even when those around us are miserable. We can find the little things and allow them to make us smile. We look for the single bird who continues to chirp from the bushes, singing joyfully, in the midst of a torrential downpour. We watch for the rainbow that marks the end of a storm. We revel in the glee of the puppy who continues to toss toys at us even though the humans around us are complaining about life.
And we keep those joys to ourselves.
What? We don’t share our latched-onto happiness? It’s human instinct to want to spread the love. When we care about people, even grouchy ones, it is a part of our nature to want to make them smile. We have found a reason to be grateful even when “things don’t look so good”, and we know that, if we choose happiness, that happiness will grow, fueling our dreams and moving them toward manifestation. It’s natural, therefore, that we want to show the negative people in our lives that they, too, can be happy despite apparent circumstances.
That’s like telling a smoker she should quit, or flaunting our weight loss in front of someone who is really struggling with their diet. We think we are helping and encouraging, when in fact we may actually be reminding the person we love that they have a lot to overcome. The people dwelling in negativity are there … because they created it. It’s not up to us to create their world. It is only up to us to create our own.
Yes, they created their reality, just as we create ours. This doesn’t mean they’re willingly drawing bad stuff to themselves. They have simply, on some level, allowed circumstance to dictate their dreams rather than the other way around. They have been affected by the circle of energy around them, allowing other people, other things, to shift their own thoughts. They’re not aware of that, nor are they “to blame” for it … it simply has happened. Most people, in fact, move through lives and generations in this very way, without knowing the influence their own thoughts have on the physical world around them. It’s not their fault … they simply haven’t understood that they can, in fact, change the waves of destiny which carry them forward.
As we hold onto the little smiles, bigger ones will be attracted to us. We will begin to see small bits of dreams becoming real, goals finding their mark, and if we can continue to seek out the small rays of sunshine, those manifestations will snowball. Oh, it may be a little snowball at first, rolling very slowly, but if we can remain faithful to the universal truths, even when those around us are putting up shields against positive results, the snowball will gradually grow. Our goals will be reached, and we will become a silent witness to the power of positive thinking.
It is that silent witness that people will hear. Gradually, our circle of positive influence will begin to affect those around us, just as their circle of negatives had affected us in the past. Without us having to say a word (which might be thrown back in our faces if we tried anyway), minds will open, and smiles will begin to come, naturally, to the faces which previously only wore frowns.
Telling someone who is sad, or hurting, or in pain, or frightened, “lighten up, you’re creating your bad stuff, change your mind, choose happiness….” is only going to alienate them if they aren’t ready to hear it. It’s like telling a smoker, “You’re liable to get cancer, choose health”. It is very hard to keep one’s mouth shut, certainly, when a loved one is hurting, and we know the solution to their pain. The best thing we can do, however, to take care of those we love … is to take care of ourselves.
As we walk forth, finding the bits of sunshine, whistling the tune of that single happy bird in the drenched bushes, we can visualize our own joy spreading outward, surrounding our loved ones. Although no man can change another’s heart, or create another’s reality, we can make the infectious nature of joy a part of our reality, and keep believing in the people we love. It’s bound to rub off eventually … it has to, it’s the law of attraction at work.
Our friends and family will, they must, absorb at least some of that good energy, and they will see the changes in our lives. Our positive attitude will affect them … sometimes even annoy them … but in the long run both they, and we, will be better for it.
Even when things seem to be dark around us, we need to keep plugging away at the light. Choose happiness, even in the center of sadness. Choose laughter when tears abound. Act as if your dreams are on the way … because they are, even when they don’t “appear” to be within miles or millennia.
Include visions of your loved ones, laughing and happy, in those dreams, even when on the surface they seem to be positively miserable.
The law of attraction works … but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy. Although each of us may be, in essence, an island within ourselves, we still all inhabit the same physical sea. We cannot help but make waves that affect each other. Put up bunkers in your heart against the waves of negativity that might be lapping at your shores, and choose to send forth only waves of joy and love toward the islands that surround you.
We can’t change another man’s heart, or mind, or make them choose happiness. But we can choose for ourselves, and envision that joy touching the lives of those we love. Although no one can create another’s reality, we can believe that our own reality will inspire our loved ones to smile.
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