RAOKA for April: Family

Family.

When Lori and Sami asked me if I’d like to select a topic for RAOKA, and I chose “Family”, it was right after my Dad passed away.  I really expected, at that time, that my post would be about him, about my Mom, about the way our childhoods and the people who surround us mold the human beings we become.

It’s really interesting how things change.  Life brings us events that alter our thought processes, so that in a few weeks time, there can evolve an entirely different focus.

Today, as I sit down to actually write my “Family” thoughts out for RAOKA readers to view, though of course Mom and Dad and my biological loved ones are very much on my mind, the entire idea of “Family” has expanded and changed.

What event made me shift my concentration for this month’s RAOKA post?  It was a day of fence-building here at Nastasi West (or “Wit’s End”, as I’ve begun to call our home).

For the 20-plus years that we’ve lived in our current home, our forever home, the plans always were that, when my Mom and Dad died, my hubby and I would take over their house while the house we lived in, and in which we raised our children, would be offered to the next generation.  So, once emotions began to sort out, we did just that.  My daughter and her “significant other”, a great guy named Chris, took occupation of “Nastasi East”, and here on the western half of the property, Joe, Devon (our son) and I have been settling in.  With us came my silly birds and our dog Kai, to invade Dad’s poor cat’s personal space and make this our home.

Down the hill, Kai had a back yard, fenced in, that he used for exercise and his daily necessities.  Up here, there is a much larger space that we planned to fence, which stretches between the house and the pole barn and probably covers between half and three quarters of an acre.  With all that is going on, though the dog yard fencing was obviously a priority, it was one that our family was far too distracted by things like legal and financial matters to give our full attention to.

And that is when the concept of Family expanded and came to the rescue.

I’ve a dear friend, his name is Wes.  He and his wife and kids have become more like extended family for us than “just friends”.  My readers know Wes through NY Wildlife Rescue Center, I’m sure.  Last week, Wes showed up with a horse trailer full of cattle panels, and on Saturday he returned, with two great helpers (Rose from SUNY Cobleskill and her boyfriend Dave), a load of t-posts, tools, and the determination to get the job done.

We worked all morning driving posts and starting the construction of the fence.   Half the yard was done by the time Wes had to return to the Center for an appointment.  My son Devon and I put up the rest of the panels, attaching them to the already-driven posts, in the afternoon.  Later in the day Wes, Rose and Dave, along with Wes’s friend TJ, came back, and we finished the area under the carport, and hung a kennel panel across the front as a gate.

In one day, Kai had a yard.  After it was done, Family sat in the grass along the west side of the fence, and I let Kai out.  He didn’t know quite what to make of things at first, but suddenly the light went on, and he opened up and ran.  Kai loves his yard, with more room to really stretch and gallop than he’s ever had at home before.  Every time I stand out there and watch him run, I offer gratitude to the Universe for bringing me such wonderful friends.

Such wonderful Family.

“Family” is a word that means different things to different people; a word which has a variety of meanings in many situations.  We talk about the nuclear family of parents and children, the extended family that includes grands, aunts, uncles, cousins first, second and third.  We talk about our Family of Man, which, to some, is limited to those like them, to others includes all mankind.  We speak of, as we reach outward with our hearts even farther, our Earth Family, which embraces all living things who grace the Mother Planet.

For me, Family is a matter of heart.  Family are those who care, who help, who comfort, who are part of the circle of life to which we are bonded and bound by love.  Ties may be by blood, or not — and it really doesn’t matter.  The old saying is that blood makes us brothers, but hearts make us friends.  The truest friends are always, in my heart, Family.

I’ve had some challenges in life, these past few years.  I believe that the struggle to survive those challenges has been, in many ways, a blessing.  It’s made me acutely aware of, and eternally grateful for, the people who have gathered around me in support.  I know that I would not have made it to this day without them.  Wes and his family are among our closest Family members, for whom I thank the Creator every single day.  I don’t think a biological brother could have more of a heart’s bond, or have provided more strength to us as we’ve battled through these recent tough times.

“Family” is not necessarily about blood.  It’s about people (both human and otherwise) who are there for you to share the laughter, and still there to soak up the tears.  Family give from the heart.  Family have your back.  Family are the ones you’d gladly lay down your life for, and never doubt for a moment that it’s the right thing to do.

And to close with the words of some wise man or woman, whose identity I’ve never known but whose wisdom I’ve repeated many times over the years:  Friends may help you move, but real friends (Family) help you move bodies.

Kai surveys his new domain

On the first Wednesday of the month (or Thursday for you folks living on the other half of this world) we all post about what we’ve observed.

May’s theme for RAOKA will be “Serenity”, chosen by Zeenat of Positive Provocations!

Please visit the other RAOKA members and enjoy their thoughts on the theme of the month:
Lance at Jungle of Life
Lori at Jane Be Nimble
Zeenat at Positive Provocations

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